Information About DIVORCES and Restraining Orders

Jose David Alcantara, Esquire • March 25, 2025

Jose David Alcantara

1125 Atlantic Ave. Suite 541
Atlantic City, New Jersey 08401
Tel. (609) 782-2494 email: AlcantaraJD@mail.com


What are the grounds for divorce in New Jersey?

You can file for divorce in New Jersey based on any of the following reasons (grounds):

  1. Irreconcilable differences – When there has been a breakdown of the marriage based on a failure to get along for a period of 6 months or more and there is no reasonable belief of reconciliation.
  2. Adultery - when your spouse cheats on you.
  3. Abandonment - when your spouse left your house for 12 months or more.
  4. Extreme cruelty - when your spouse treated you in a way that endangered your life or health or made it unbearable for you to live with him/her (such as physical or mental cruelty). (Note: If you are filing for divorce based on this, you have to wait at least three months after the last incident of cruelty. If you are including this ground in your counter-claim to your spouse’s divorce petition, you do not have to wait those three months; you can include this ground even if the last cruel incident happened yesterday.)
  5. Separation – when you and your spouse don’t live together anymore in the same house for a term of at least 18 consecutive months or more and there is no reasonable belief of reconciliation between you both.
  6. Addiction to drugs or habitual drunkenness for a period of 12 or more consecutive months after marriage and prior to filing for divorce.
  7. Institutionalization for mental illness for a period of 24 or more consecutive months after marriage and prior to filing for divorce.
  8. Imprisonment - Your spouse was sentenced to go to jail for 18 or more consecutive months after marriage. If you file for divorce after your spouse has been released from jail, you also have to show that you and your spouse have not lived together after s/he was released from jail.
  9. If your spouse commits “deviant sexual conduct” on you without your consent. (Note: This term is not well-defined in New Jersey law - if you are unsure if you meet this ground, please talk to an attorney for advice.)1

1 N.J. Stat. § 2A:34-2

What types of alimony are there and how long can alimony last?

There are four types of alimony that a judge can grant: 1) open durational alimony; 2) rehabilitative alimony; 3) limited duration alimony; or 4) reimbursement alimony.1 To read the definitions of each type of alimony, go to our Selected New Jersey Statutes page.

For any marriage that lasts less than 20 years, alimony can only be ordered for the number of years that the marriage or civil union lasted unless there are “exceptional circumstances.” Exceptional circumstances which may require an adjustment to the length (duration) of alimony include:

  • the ages of the parties at the time of the marriage and at the time of the alimony award;
  • how dependent one spouse was on the other during the marriage and how long that dependency lasted;
  • whether a spouse has a chronic illness or unusual health circumstance;
  • whether a spouse has given up a career or a career opportunity or otherwise supported the career of the other spouse;
  • whether a spouse has received a disproportionate share of equitable distribution;
  • the impact of the marriage on either party’s ability to become self-supporting, including but not limited to either party’s responsibility as primary caretaker of a child;
  • tax considerations of either party; and
  • any other factors or circumstances that the court deems equitable, relevant and material.2

In determining the length of the a limited durational alimony award, the judge must consider the length of time it would reasonably take for the recipient to improve his or her earning capacity to a level where limited duration alimony is no longer appropriate.2

1 N.J. Stat. § 2A:34-23​(b)
  2 N.J. Stat. § 2A:34-23​(c)

What factors will a judge consider when deciding if I can get alimony?

When deciding whether or not to issue alimony, the judge must consider the following factors:

  • the actual need for alimony and the ability of the paying spouse to pay;
  • the length of the marriage;
  • the age, physical health, and emotional health of both parties;
  • the standard of living established in the marriage and how likely it is that each party can continue to have a reasonably comparable standard of living;
  • the earning capacities, educational levels, vocational skills, and employability of both parties;
  • how long you have been absent from the job market;
  • each party’s parental responsibilities for the children;
  • the time and expense necessary to get sufficient education or training to allow you to find appropriate employment and how available such training and employment is;
  • any opportunities that you may have to get money or property (assets) in the future;
  • the history of the financial or non-financial contributions to the marriage by each party, which includes contributions to the care and education of the children and the interruption of your personal career or educational opportunities;
  • the division (“equitable distribution”) of property that was ordered in the divorce and any payouts from the equitable distribution, directly or indirectly, out of current income;
  • the income available to either party through the investment of any assets held by that party;
  • the tax treatment and consequences to both parties of any alimony award;
  • the nature, amount, and length of temporary (pendente lite) support paid, if any; and
  • any other factors that the judge believes are relevant.1

1 N.J. Stat. § 2A:34-23​(b)

What are the basic steps for filing for divorce?

While divorce laws vary by state, here are the basic steps:

  • First, you must meet the residency requirements of the state.
  • Second, you must have “grounds” (a legally acceptable reason) to end your marriage.
  • Third, you must file divorce papers and have copies sent to your spouse.
  • Fourth, if your spouse disagrees with anything in the divorce papers, then s/he will have the opportunity to file papers telling his/her side, which is known as “contesting the divorce.” If s/he contests it, then you will have a series of court appearances to sort the issues out. If your spouse does not disagree with anything, then s/he should sign the papers and send them back to you and/or the court. If your spouse agrees with everything and signs the papers, this is called an “uncontested divorce.” Also, if a certain period of time passes and your spouse does not sign the papers or file any papers of his/her own, you may be able to proceed with the divorce as an uncontested divorce anyway. (Speak to a lawyer in your state about how long you have to wait to see if your spouse answers before you can continue with the divorce).
  • Fifth, if there is property that you need divided or if you need financial support from your spouse, then you will have to work that out either in an out-of-court settlement or in a series of court hearings. Custody may also be decided as part of your divorce.

If I get a lawyer, can the judge order my spouse to pay my attorney fees?

The judge has the authority to order that the either party pay the attorney fees of the other party in any claim for divorce, dissolution of civil union, termination of domestic partnership, nullity, support, alimony, custody, parenting time, equitable distribution, separate maintenance, enforcement of agreements between spouses, domestic partners, or civil union partners and claims relating to family type matters. The judge can make this order while the case is pending (known as pendente lite) or at the end of the case. The judge will have to determine if an award of attorney fees is appropriate in each situation.

When determining the amount of the fee award, the judge will consider the following factors:

  • the financial circumstances of the parties;
  • the ability of the parties to pay their own lawyer’s fees or to contribute to the fees of the other party;
  • the reasonableness and good faith of the positions put forth by each party during trial and before trial;
  • how much the fees are for each party;
  • any fees previously awarded;
  • the amount of fees previously paid to the lawyers by each party;
  • the results obtained by each party in the case;
  • the degree to which fees were incurred to enforce existing orders or to compel discovery; and
  • any other factor that relates to the fairness of an award of attorney’s fees.1

1 NJ Court R. 5:3-5(c)

 

Child Support

How will the judge calculate child support?
   If I have joint custody, is either parent responsible for child support?
   How long will child support last?
   What can I do if the other parent is not paying the ordered child support?

How will the judge calculate child support?

How much child support is ordered will depend on both parents’ income and the needs of the child.1 To decide how much child support to order, the judge will follow the New Jersey child support guidelines, which account for:

  • basic expenses: housing, food, clothing, transportation, entertainment, health, and similar expenses; and
  • additional expenses: child care, health insurance, and other expenses approved by the judge.2

However, there are circumstances that could make the judge stray from the guidelines or adjust the result provided by those guidelines.3 The judge, for example, may consider:

  • other dependents of either party;
  • other support obligations;
  • government benefits paid to or for the children;4 and
  • shared parenting obligations.5

The New Jersey Department of Human Services offers a child support calculator, which you can find here.

1 N.J. Rules of Practice App. 9-A
  2 N.J. Rules of Practice App. 9-A(8)
  3 N.J. Rules of Practice App. 9-A(3)
  4 N.J. Rules of Practice App. 9-A(10)
  5 N.J. Rules of Practice App. 9-A(4)

If I have joint custody, is either parent responsible for child support?

The New Jersey child support guidelines use a different formula when there’s a shared parenting plan as opposed to when one parent has sole custody. It makes a distinction between the:

  • parent of primary residence, with whom the child spends more than 50% of his/her time each year; and
  • the other parent, known as the parent of alternate residence.

The guidelines then consider the income and expenses of both parents and the expenses of the parent of alternate residence when s/he is in charge of the child. After calculations and adjustments, either parent could be ordered to pay child support based on the needs of the child and the higher income of one of the parents.1

1 N.J. Rules of Practice App. 9-A(14)

How long will child support last?

The obligation to pay child support ends when the child:

  1. turns 19 years of age, unless the custodial parent requests, and the judge grants, an extension based on:
  • the severe mental or physical incapacity of the child; or
  • the fact that the child is studying full-time in high school or a post-secondary education program. In this case, support will end on or before the child’s 23rd birthday;
  1. marries;
  2. dies;
  3. enters the military service; or
  4. is under the custody of the state.1

1 N.J. Stat. § 2A:17-56.67

What can I do if the other parent is not paying the ordered child support?

New Jersey’s child support enforcement program could help enforce the order without you having to go to court. You can read more about how the different government agencies work together to enforce child support orders on the New Jersey state government website.

The other option you have is to file in court, hopefully with the help of an attorney, to help you enforce your child support order. A judge could enforce the child support order by doing any of the following to the non-paying parent:

  • withholding:
  • current or future income;
  • unemployment benefits;
  • money owed to him/her; or
  • trust funds;
  • denying, suspending, or revoking driving, professional, occupational, recreational or sporting licenses; and
  • ordering the arrest of the parent who is not following with order.1

1 N.J. Stat. § 2A:17-56.8

What is custody?

Custody is the legal responsibility for the care and control of your minor child under 18. There are two types of custody: legal and physical.

Although it is not clearly defined in New Jersey statutes, legal custody usually refers to the right to make major decisions about your child. Some types of decisions generally included in the right of legal custody are:

  • where your child goes to school;
  • whether your child gets surgery; and
  • what kind of religious training your child receives.

Physical custody refers to who your child lives with on a day-to-day basis. It is the physical care and supervision of your child.1

1 N.J. Stat. § 2A:34-54

What custody options are there?

New Jersey’s public policy is that children have frequent and continuing contact with both parents.1 Based on the best interest of the child, a judge can order any of the following:

  • joint legal custody, which is when both parents will make major decisions regarding the child’s health, education, and general welfare.2 This can be ordered even if only one parent has physical custody. Joint legal custody usually involves the parents talking with each other and making decisions jointly. Since cases of domestic violence involve control, fear, and an imbalance of power, joint custody usually is not a good option;
  • joint physical custody, which is when the child lives with each parent for a period of time but it doesn’t necessarily mean that each parent has equal time;3
  • sole legal custody, which is when only one parent is able to make major decisions for the child;
  • sole physical custody, which is when the child primarily lives with one parent. The other parent will likely still have scheduled parenting time;4 or
  • any other custody arrangement the judge believes is in the best interest of the child.5

​1 N.J. Stat. § 9:2-4
  2 N.J. Stat. § 9:2-4(a)(2)
  3 N.J. Stat. § 9:2-4(a)(1)
  4 N.J. Stat. § 9:2-4(b)
  5 N.J. Stat. § 9:2-4(c)

What is mediation?

Mediation is a process by which parents attempt to reach an agreement relating to custody and visitation of their child. Mediation involves the help of a trained professional (a “mediator”) who guides the discussion process between the parents and tries to come to a compromise that both parents are happy with. The mediator cannot force you to agree to something that you don’t want.

What is the Parent's Education Program?

In New Jersey, when you file for divorce and there are issues of custody, visitation or support of your child, a judge may make you attend the “Parent’s Education Program.” This program addresses issues about how separation or divorce will affect you and your child. The program also encourages you to work together with the other parent to raise your child.1

If you have been a victim of domestic violence, it is very important that you let the judge know, because this program may not be appropriate for you. You will not have to complete the program if you have a temporary or permanent restraining order against the other parent. However, even if you don’t have a current restraining order, the court may excuse a party from attending the program if the court finds good cause to do so. 2

1 N.J. Stat. § 2A: 34-12.3
  2 N.J. Stat. § 2A:34-12.5(d) & (e)

 

New Jersey Restraining Orders

What is the legal definition of domestic violence in New Jersey?

This section defines domestic violence for the purposes of getting a restraining order. Domestic violence is when an adult  (or an emancipated minor) who has the relationship to you that is described here commits one of the following crimes against you:

  1. homicide;
  2. assault;
  3. terroristic threats;
  4. kidnapping;
  5. criminal restraint;
  6. false imprisonment;
  7. sexual assault;
  8. criminal sexual contact;
  9. lewdness;
  10. criminal mischief;
  11. burglary;
  12. criminal trespass;
  13. harassment;
  14. cyberharassment;
  15. stalking;
  16. criminal coercion;
  17. robbery;
  18. contempt of a domestic violence order, which constitutes a crime or disorderly persons offense (see section “b” of the statute); or
  19. any other crime involving risk of death or serious bodily injury.1

Note: An emancipated minor  is someone who is under 18 but who has been married, has entered military service, has a child, is pregnant or has been emancipated by a court.2

If you are a victim of sexual assault and do not have a relationship with the abuser, you may be eligible for a sexual assault restraining order.

1 N.J. Stat. § 2C:25-19(a)
  2 N.J. Stat. § 2C:25-19(e)

What types of restraining orders are there? How long do they last?

In New Jersey, there are two types of restraining orders:

Temporary restraining order (TRO)
When you file a complaint for a restraining order, you can ask for a temporary ex parte restraining order (TRO) to be issued immediately. A judge can grant you a TRO if s/he finds that it is necessary to protect your life, health, or well-being. The order will last until the hearing for a final restraining order, which is generally scheduled within 10 days.1 (An “ex parte” TRO means that the judge will make this decision based only on the information you provide, without the abuser being in court and without prior notice to him/her.)

If you cannot be physically present in court, a judge can issue a TRO upon:

  • your sworn testimony or complaint; or
  • upon the sworn testimony or complaint of a person who represents you if you are physically or mentally incapable of filing personally.

The judge must believe, however, that there are sufficiently urgent (exigent) circumstances to excuse your failure to appear personally in court.2

Note:  If you need immediate protection when the courts are closed  (regular courthouse hours are usually M - F, 8:30 am to 3:30 pm), you can:

  • file at the municipal court (if it is open); or
  • call your local police department or 911.3

Generally, there is an “on call” municipal court judge who can issue you a TRO and schedule the court date for the final restraining order hearing. If a municipal judge denies you the TRO, you can re-file your petition in the Family Part of the Chancery Division of the Superior Court when the court reopens based on the same incident.3

Final restraining order
After a hearing in which you both have an opportunity to tell your side of the story through testimony, evidence, and witnesses, a judge can grant you a final restraining order. A final restraining order has no end date  and can last forever – or until one of one of the parties files a legal motion in court asking the judge to end or modify (change) the order and the judge agrees.4

1 N.J. Stat. §§ 2C:25-28(a),(f); 2C:25-29(a)
  2 N.J. Stat. § 2C:25-28(h)
  3 N.J. Stat. § 2C:25-28(f),(i)
  4 N.J. Stat. § 2C:25-29(d)

In which county can I file for a restraining order?

You can file a petition in the county:

  • where you live;
  • where you are temporarily living if you’ve left home to avoid further abuse;
  • where the abuser lives; or
  • where the abuse occurred.1

However, if you left your home and want to keep your new address confidential, filing in the county to where you have fled would alert the abuser to the fact that you are living in that county.

1 N.J. Stat. § 2C:25-28(a)

What protections can I get in a temporary ex parte restraining order (TRO)?

A temporary ex parte order can:

  • forbid the defendant from returning to the scene of the domestic violence (except with a police officer to pick up personal belongings at a specific time/date);
  • forbid the defendant from possessing any firearm or certain other weapons (unless s/he is a law enforcement officer or in the military - then s/he can possess firearms while on duty);
  • order the police to search for and take any weapon (and firearms permit) at any location where the judge has reasonable cause to believe the weapon is located;
  • give you possession of any animal owned or kept by you, the defendant, or a child who lives in either household; and/or
  • order anything else the judge believes is appropriate, which often includes:
  • giving you temporary custody of your children; and
  • giving you exclusive possession of the home that you share with the abuser regardless of whose name is on the lease or whether or not the home is jointly owned.1

If the judge orders that the abuser cannot have firearms, then the judge must require that a law enforcement officer accompany the abuser (or go without the abuser if necessary) to any place where any firearm or other weapon is located and take possession of them. If the restraining order prohibits the abuser from going to the place where firearms or other weapons belonging to the abuser are located, the law enforcement officer will go without the abuser and seize (take) them.2

1 N.J. Stat. § 2C:25-28(j), (k)
  2 N.J. Stat. § 2C:25-28(j)

What protections can I get in a final (permanent) restraining order?

A final restraining  order can order the abuser to:

  • not commit domestic violence against you and not to threaten to harm, harass, or stalk you or anyone else named in the restraining order;
  • stay away from the home, property, school, work or any other place that is named in the restraining order of you and your family or household members;
  • pay (in full or in part) the rent or mortgage on your home if the judge decides that the abuser has a duty to support you or your children;
  • not make any contact that is likely to annoy or alarm you, including contact in person, by telephone, in writing, or through a third person with you or your family members, employers, other workers, etc;
  • pay you for reasonable losses resulting from the abuse (some examples of this are loss of earnings or support, the cost of injuries, moving or travel expenses, the replacement or repair of property damaged or taken by the abuser, attorney and counseling fees, compensation for pain and suffering, etc.);
  • be prohibited from purchasing, owning or possessing a firearm or other weapons, and order the search for and seizure of any firearm or other weapons at any place where the judge has reasonable cause to believe a weapon is located;
  • attend domestic violence counseling;
  • undergo a psychiatric evaluation; and
  • report to the court to monitor that the abuser is following the terms.1

A final restraining order can also give you the following:

  • sole possession of the home where you both live (in other words, remove the abuser from the home). The judge can order this even if the home is owned or leased only by the abuser, not you. If, however, it is not possible for you to stay in the home, the judge can order the abuser to pay your rent for a new place if the abuser has a duty to support you;
  • temporary custody and decide how often the abuser can see your minor children, specify the time and place of parenting time, and require supervision or the participation of a third party. Note: If the abuser is granted parenting time and then threatens the safety and well-being of your children in some way, you can apply for an emergency hearing and the judge will consider suspending the abuser’s parenting time;
  • temporary possession of personal property such as a car, checkbook, health insurance documentation, identification, a key, and other personal items; (these items can be given either to you or the abuser);
  • emergency financial support from the abuser, including support for your minor children;
  • an order that a law enforcement officer must accompany you or the abuser to your home or shared workplace to supervise the removal of personal items;
  • possession of any animal owned or kept by you, the defendant, or a child who lives in either household; and
  • any other appropriate relief you request for you or your dependent children.1

Whether a judge orders any or all of the above depends on the facts of your case.

If the judge orders that the abuser cannot have firearms, then the judge must require that a law enforcement officer accompany the abuser (or go without the abuser if necessary) to any place where any firearm or other weapon is located and take possession of them. If the restraining order prohibits the abuser from going to the place where firearms or other weapons belonging to the abuser are located, the law enforcement officer will go without the abuser and seize (take) them.1

1 N.J. Stat. § 2C:25-29(b)

If the abuser lives in a different state, can I still get an order against him/her?

When you and the abuser live in different states, the judge may not have “personal jurisdiction” (power) over an out-of-state abuser. This means that the court may not be able to grant an order against him/her.

There are a few ways that a court can have personal jurisdiction over an out-of-state abuser:

  1. The abuser has a substantial connection to your state. Perhaps the abuser regularly travels to your state to visit you, for business, to see extended family, or the abuser lived in your state and recently fled.
  2. One of the acts of abuse “happened” in your state. Perhaps the abuser sends you threatening texts or harassing phone calls from another state but you read the messages or answer the calls while you are in your state. The judge could decide that the abuse “happened” to you while you were in your state. It may also be possible that the abuser was in your state when s/he abused you s/he but has since left the state.
  3. If you file your petition and the abuser gets served with the court petition while s/he is in your state, this is another way for the court to get jurisdiction.

However, even if none of the above apply to your situation, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you can’t get an order. If you file, you may be granted an order on consent or the judge may find other circumstances that allow the order to be granted.

Note: If the judge in your state refuses to issue an order, you can file for an order in the courthouse in the state where the abuser lives. However, remember that you will likely need to file the petition in person and attend various court dates, which could be difficult if the abuser’s state is far away.

OTHER ISSUES:

Pendente Lite, Alimony, Medical Insurance , Life Insurance, Other relatives visitation

Educational Expenses, Vacations

 

 

 

 

A house for rent sign is in the grass in front of a house

Informacion sobre Arrendar

By Jose David Alcantara, Abogado • March 25, 2025
Jose David Alcantara, Abogado 1125 Atlantic Ave. Suite 541 Atlantic City, New Jersey 08401 Tel. (609)-782-2494 email: jda84375 @gmail.com SUS DERECHOS EN ALQUILAR CASA O APARTAMENTOS Uno de los mejores sitios informativos para comenzar a entender sus derechos de alquilar un departamento o casa esta situado en el website de New Jersey Legal Services, en Espanol: https://proxy.lsnj.org/rcenter/GetPublicDocument/Sites/LAW/Documents/Publications/Manuals/TenantsRights.pdf Alli le proveen a Usted una gran cantidad de informacion sobre sus derechos en arrendar, cual informacion tambien les ayuda a los proprietarios (Landlords). Aqui les explico ciertos de estos derechos, protegidos por la ley: 1. Inspeccion. Su residencia alquilada tiene que obligatoriamente pasar inspeccion de la ciudad. Sin esto, el proprietario esta alquilando (rentando) ilegalmente. La electricidad, plomeria, calefaccion e otros servicios tiene que llegar al nivel requirido por las leyes. Ud. Tiene derecho a reclamar este documento y lo puedo obtener del Municipio local. 2. Deposito. Su deposito tiene que ser depositado (y Ud. Ver la copia) en un “interest bearing account, “ una cuenta que le da interes. Si no, entonces el proprietario esta en violacion de arrendar legalmente la propriedad. La cantidad de deposito no puede ser mas que 1 ½ de la cantidad de la renta. 3. Reparaciones. Ud. Tiene derecho a reclamar reparaciones para las funciones como la nevera, estufa, electricidad, plomeria con tal que Ud. No causo intencionalmente el problema. Se recomienda que obtenga evidencia de esto y ponerlo todo en escrito. Ud. No necesariamente tiene derecho para reclamar reparaciones para “normal wear and tear” o sea, el desgastar usual o normal de ciertas cosas. Pero, el Landlord es obligado a pintar el apartamente cada tres (3) anos (pero si la pintura esta bien, esto no se tiene que hacer necesariamente). Consulte con un abogado. Informese. 4. Aumento de renta. El proprietario puede alzar la cantidad de renta, pero esto es limitado por la ley, o las leyes de su comunidad. Este aumento es tipicamente limitado a menos de 10%. 5. Nuevo Proprietario. Ud. Tiene derecho a quedarse alli bajo los mismos terminos de antes. El Landlord esta obligado a informarle que este vendiendo o cambiando proprietario. Consulte con un abogado para mas detalles. 6. Inspecciones del proprietario. Ud. Tiene derecho de vivir en paz. El proprietario no puede asomarse a su residencia sin noticia y demandar entrada. Eso es ilegal, incluyendo amenazamientos del Landlord. Obtenga sus pruebas, evidencia, fotos o grabaciones del abuso del Landlord para documentarlo. Estos factores no incluyen todos sus derechos y es solamente lo basico. Cordialmente, Jose David Alcantara, Doctor de Leyes
A broken red heart is sitting on a gray surface

Informacion sobre Divorcio

By Jose David Alcantara, Abogado • March 25, 2025
Jose David Alcantara, Abogado Direccion: 1125 Atlantic Ave. Suite 541 Atlantic City, New Jersey 08401 Telefono : (609) 782-2494 email: jda84375@gmail.com Un divorcio o una separacion es una de las mas dificiles y emocionales experiencias que le puede suceder a una persona. La intencion del matrimonio, en general, es encontrar un medio de felicidad y amor en este mundo tan complicado. La terminacion del matrimonio, asi como su transicion, puede ser deprimente y concluir con una situacion financiera dificil que afecte a las personas para el resto de sus vidas. Las proximas recomendaciones son respuestas a algunas preguntas generales sobre su divorcio. Esta breve introduccion no debe reemplazar el consejo especifico de un abogado sobre su caso en particular. Cada caso es diferente. QUE TIPO DE DIVORCIO SE RECONOCE EN LAS LEYES DE NUEVA JERSEY? La ley es diferente en cada Estado. En Nueva Jersey, existen cuatro formas principales de solicitar un divorcio : Extrema crueldad Separacion de 18 meses Desercion de 12 meses Adulterio Tambien existen otras varias causas para solicitar un divorcio incluyendo, falta de informacion sobre antecedentes criminales, un matrimonio anterior que aun sigue valido, adicion a las drogas, una enfermedad, problemas psicologicos o comportamiento sexual anormal, etc. Cada tipo de divorcio requiere que ciertas condiciones legales existan para que se pueda cumplir el proceso legal que supone el divorcio. Por ejemplo, un divorcio basado en " EXTREMA CRUELDAD " no requiere que la "crueldad" sea " extrema ", sino que basicamente tienen que existir razones legales suficientes para declarar, en el enjuiciamento por parte del juez, que hay motivos para un divorcio. Siendo asi, "extrema crueldad" incluye actos como, abuso verbal, falta de intimidad, actos de violencia, falta de comunicacion, falta de atencion, etc. Legalmente, los juzgados requieren algunos detalles con fechas especificas de los actos u omisiones concretos para determinar exactamente la base de incapacidad para permitir la continuacion del matrimonio. En un caso de SEPARACION, el solicitante tiene que alegar y probar que han estado separados durante mas de 18 meses sin interrupcion, y que durante este tiempo no han tenido ninguna relacion intima. Cualquier acto de regresar a convivir juntos significa que, legalmente, la pareja no podra divorciarse bajo este tipo de divorcio hasta que se separen otra vez durante 18 meses. Bajo la ley, la separacion de 18 meses es prueba evidente de que el matrimonio esta completamente arruinado y entonces no hay necesidad de probar cualquier otra acusacion ( adulterio, extrema crueldad, etc.). En referencia a la DESERCION, el solicitante debe alegar y probar que han estado separados, y sin ninguna relacion intima, durante mas de 12 cmeses. La separacion debe de ser involuntaria al principio y que la desercion continue hasta el dia presente. En referencia al ADULTERIO, hay ciertas clarificaciones necesarias para entender este tipo de divorcio. Hay que evitar confusion en esta parte de la ley. Por ejemplo, no es necesario probar que definitivamente el esposo-a durmio con otra persona. No es necesario tener las fotografias en las que el-ella estaba durante el acto intimo, no es necesario ser tan grafico. Los juzgados han declarado repetitivamente que las pruebas indirectas pero creibles son suficientes para establecer los elementos probatorios requeridos para demostrar el adulterio. Tambien es suficiente prueba, en ciertos casos, si se ha visto al esposo-a aparecer en un hotel a horas sospechosas durante largos periodos de tiempo sin explicacion razonable. Por ejemplo, el ser visto en un hotel con otra persona en circunstancias sospechosas ( no estaba en el trabajo, reunion,etc.), entonces, estos actos serian suficiente, en parte, para probar y obtener un divorcio basado en adulterio. Se debe anotar que en Nueva Jersey, una esposa o esposo que pueda probar que su trauma o danos fisicos se han producido directamente por la relacion matrimonial, podria recibir una compensacion en el juzgado de lo civil por tales danos, con tal que tenga el informe medico y se pueda relacionar la culpa al matrimonio. QUE ES LA ANULACION ? En general, la anulacion es una nulidad del estado matrimonial debido a razones legales que mantienen invalido el contrato matrimonial desde el principio. Una anulacion declarara que el matrimonio nunca fue matrimonio. Ejemplos donde una nulidad esta permitida son: El o ella ya estaba casado o casada, no divorciado o divorciada, cuando se caso con la nueva esposa o esposo. Cuando el o ella no entendia que estaba casandose, debido a la influencia del alcohol o las drogas, limitaciones mentales, etc. Cuando el o ella fue forzado o forzada o amenazado o amenazada a casarse. Cuando el o ella, inmediatamente despues del matrimonio, desaparece sin explicacion y no se le puede encontrar, y ademas, no ha habido todavia ninguna relacion intima entre ambos. Cuando el o ella falta en ser sincero a la hora de explicar un dato serio y significante que podria haber afectado la decision de la otra persona de casarse ( antecedentes criminales, diferente religion, diferente raza, homosexualidad, deseo de no tener ninos, etc.). SI NO SE PUEDE ENCONTRAR AL ESPOSO O A LA ESPOSA, TODAVIA SE PUEDE OBTENER EL DIVORCIO? Lo cierto es que si. La ley requiere que el " proceso debido " del esposo no encontrado sea protegido. Esta proteccion al desaparecido consiste en recibir notificacion de la demanda en proceso a traves de carta por correo ordinario, certificada, y por un oficial del juzgado. Despues de agotar todas estas formas de notificacion, entonces, es necesario suplicar al juzgado para obtener servicio sustitorio. Este proceso es un poco problematico y, legalmente, consiste en una publicacion en la prensa local. LA LEY Y LOS MEJORES INTERESES PARA LOS NINOS : Un divorcio es una experiencia dolorosa para los adultos. En los terminos mas sencillos, un divorcio es cuando ambas partes no son capaces de resolver sus diferencias aun despues de obtener un consejero, psicologo, asistencia de la iglesia, etc. Para los ninos el divorcio es peor todavia, porque estan perdiendo una familia unida. Se recomienda que ambas partes resuelvan el divorcio a traves de un acuerdo en lugar de litigar el caso en juicio y dejar que un juez decida el futuro de los dos. Si van a juicio, va a haber gastos adicionales de abogado, expertos, asesores del valor de la casa, estimadores, examenes psicologicos y otros gastos mas. Todos los Estados de los Estados Unidos de America han creado leyes para proteger los mejores intereses de los ninos en un divorcio. Los juzgados ven a los ninos como victimas del divorcio y les dan una atencion especial. Normalmente, las razones para litigar un divorcio son la custodia y visitas de los ninos. Las leyes son diferentes de Estado a Estado. Es importante consultar con un abogado antes de cambiar de un Estado a otro. En Nueva Jersey por ejemplo, la presuncion es de custodia " joint ", o sea, compartida por los padres, segun la Ley NJSA 9:2-4 y 9:17-40. Por lo general, la ley requiere que los dos parientes tengan una decision conjunta en cuanto a la salud, escuela, medicacion, preparacion, etc. de los ninos; a menos que existan algunos factores negativos para quitarles los derechos al padre o a la madre. Los juzgados desean que los dos parientes tengan responsabilidades en la ayuda de los ninos con asistencia emocional, fisica y hasta espiritual. Un divorcio es una experiencia horrible para los ninos y hay que tratarlos con mucha delicadeza para evitar que tengan problemas mas tarde como adultos. El juzgado permitira casi cualquier decision de custodia que sea, en el buen interes de los ninos en la relacion. La custodia podria ser conjunta : 3 dias el y 4 ella; 5 dias ella y el fin de semana el; 6 meses ella y seis meses el; etc.; dependiendo de cada circunstancia. El juzgado puede incluso asignarle el caso a un representante de los ninos, aparte de los parientes, para que independientemente represente los intereses de los ninos. Muchos padres malinterpretan el termino " joint custody ". La intencion general de " joint custody " o custodia conjunta es mantener a cada pariente involucrado en la vida del nino, incluyendo decisiones sobre educacion, el mejor medico, la escuela, la medicina, la ninera, etc. Entonces, es importante ver algo mas que solamente el termino usado en cada divorcio para entender mejor su significado en cada caso, ya que cada caso es diferente. Es posible tambien que el juzgado le brinde custodia solamente a un pariente con visitas limitadas o liberales al otro. Las visitas pueden ser flexibles o estructuradas, segun el caso. En el supuesto de que ninguno de los padres sea capaz de tener la custodia ( los dos estan en la carcel, drogadictos, muertos, etc. ), entonces, los familiares o el juzgado toman posesion legal de los ninos, despues de una investigacion y juicio. DISTRIBUCION EQUITATIVA O IGUALITARIA DE LOS BIENES MATRIMONIALES La Corte, en la mayoria de los Estados, y ademas de la pension alimenticia y sostenimiento o manutencion de los hijos, puede decidir la distribucion de las propiedades que las dos partes adquirieron legalmente durante el matrimonio, segun consta en los estatutos anotados de New Jersey: NJ 2A : 34-23, et. Seq. En casi cada estado existen formas legales que tratan sobre las publicaciones acerca de la distribucion equitativa o igualitaria de los bienes matrimoniales. En cuanto a establecer alguna definicion acerca de que es distribucion equitativa, el Juez Pashman declara sucintamente en el caso de Kikkert v. Kikkert , 88 NJ 4 ( 1981 ) : " El objeto de la distribucion equitativa o igualitaria se diferencia del proposito de la pension alimenticia y manutencion de los hijos. La pension alimenticia y manutencion de los hijos pueden ayudar a mantener los beneficios o ingresos de ambas partes durante cierto tiempo, utilizando los ingresos de una parte para sostener a la otra. Sin embargo, la intencion principal o primaria de las leyes sobre distribucion equitativa de los bienes de la propiedad matrimonial no consiste en compensar por los cambios en la fortuna de cada una de las partes una vez que se han separado, sino cumplir una distribucion justa de lo que las partes, provechosa y legalmente, adquirieron mientras estaban unidos. " A la hora de decidir o aplicar justamente los principios de distribucion equitativa de los bienes matrimoniales, la Corte usualmente examinara, ademas de otros factores o requisitos, los siguientes: A. El estado o situacion economica de las partes en el momento en que las propiedades o bienes seran divididas. B. El tiempo o duracion del matrimonio. C. Los ingresos o propiedades que cada parte trajo o introdujo en el matrimonio. D. El nivel de vida experimentado por las partes durante el matrimonio. E. La condicion mental, fisica y emocional de cada esposo. F. Cualquier acuerdo prenupcial, es decir, antes o en el momento de celebracion del matrimonio. G. La ayuda o asistencia que cada parte del matrimonio hubiera prestado a la otra durante la vida del mismo matrimonio, como educacion, apoyo financiero o de otra clase, etc. H. El valor actual de cada bien, articulo y propiedad. I. El impacto o las consecuencias con respecto a las leyes de impuestos o tasas. J. Las necesidades concretas o particulares del esposo o esposa que tiene, o tendra el cuidado y manutencion del hijo o hijos, especialmente en relacion a la residencia. K. Las deudas y obligaciones de cada esposo. L. La capacidad para ganar dinero que tiene cada parte : educacion, experiencia, edad, estabilidad o inestabilidad en el trabajo, educacion necesaria para prepararse o practicar en un trabajo, etc. Estos factores o requisitos son similares a los que la Corte considera en referencia a los casos que envuelve la cuestion de la pension alimenticia. La distribucion equitativa de los bienes matrimoniales ve al matrimonio como una especie de negocio, entonces, considera, por ejemplo, si la esposa (incluso indirectamente) participo en el desarrollo del dinero o negocio matrimonial, manteniendo en buenas condiciones el trabajo en la casa y cubriendo las necesidades del marido, cuidando a los hijos y por ello perdiendo o dejando a un lado cualquier posibilidad de desarrollar su capacidad laboral fuera de la casa, al mismo tiempo que su capacidad para realizarse como profesional, no estudia una carrera o trabaja fuera de la casa, etc. Cuando decida proceder a un divorcio, tenga cuidado como escoge a su abogado. Pregunte en mas de un lugar. Si un abogado le ofrece alguna " garantia " de como va a resultar su caso, pidale que se lo ponga por escrito, ya que en las leyes sobre divorcio hay pocas garantias permanentes.